just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize