the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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