I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
