he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
that is very illegal...i love you.
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