Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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