You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
