Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize