Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
