Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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