i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
