I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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