From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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