Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Randomize
