she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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