He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
