Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Church boner. Awkwardddd
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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