so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
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The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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