I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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