There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
