everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
