I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
