TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize