i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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