You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
