Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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