she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
