I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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