"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
