After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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