does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
