You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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