Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
