i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
