Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
