sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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