anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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