Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
