Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sext me about skeletons
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
