my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
