Its about making memories worth repressing
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
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His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
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Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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