Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
