I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
