Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I think we might need a safe word for this...
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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