Sry I called you an 8
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
