we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
