But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
