whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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