Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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