I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
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