um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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