he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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