I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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