I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
