I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
