My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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