I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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