the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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