yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize