No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
