I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
