how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
