tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
