What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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