I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
im holly from the hills drunk
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
