Screwed.edu
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
