dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
