I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
