Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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