Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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