I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
sick fucks of a feather flock together
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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