So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.