wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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