i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
