just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
