Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
